Since that’s all you worry/think about

Since that’s all you worry/think about

No, I’m not a grammar nazi. Furthermore, those who are, worry very proudly about the use of the language, but hardly enough about the history of what German meant to the Nazis. That said, if I find you referring to the words, envy and envy, I interject; This is a pet peeve.

Jealousy in my mind means wanting recklessly for what someone else has. While jealousy is directed with more force at someone you believe in, you deserve more – there is also a consequent fear of losing what you already have. This is real. That is why there are jealous, and not jealous, there are lovers.

You can envy Mukesh Ambani’s wealth. Hardly jealous. The lack of their antilia does nothing in your bank account. To be fair, you can hardly envy Ambani. Because, like jealousy, sympathy is usually experienced among equals.

Suresh is tormented more by pure jealousy from a middle-class classmate at school, who turns out to be the successful Mukesh! Next, you’ll see Mukesh’s former classmates talk nonsense about what kind of loser he is: “Used to be there in my house, borrowing money, doing nothing…”

As if someone had dropped it on the cosmic peak. Not everyone was doing something, either as a child, or slowly progressing as an adult, by fluke or stigma. deal with it. The problem with Suresh and the traditional idea of ​​success is that it is essentially measured against others.

The closer, the worse. The fake proximity derived from social media is making it infinitely worse. Since no one is as happy and happening on Facebook/Instagram as their public self, and neither is as adept at LinkedIn—no one can potentially be as angry round the clock as they appear on Twitter.

In itself, Suresh is also properly better. Only that he is left to others, where the measure of his personal success seems to be the opposite of Schadenfreude – the more useful German term for deriving pleasure from people’s suffering. In such a situation, Suresh seems to be unhappy with the perceptible happiness of others more than himself.

Which is also success, due to a ‘rare mindset’, with natural jealousy often intertwined with unnatural jealousy. As if a co-worker is doing better at something, taking anything away from you. Obviously no, no?

Surprisingly, Suresh should only be proud of his friend. He is more likely to be invited to Mukesh’s dhokla party if he doesn’t know him at all!

Unless they are actively competing for the same position/job. Over there, it would seem, jealousy is justified. But he is also viewing success as a hierarchical, vertical notion, whereas the sum of achievements—social, familial, personal, professional—connects horizontally, making us very similar, whereas it is not so clear. .

This is deeply grounding. Fellow travelers, the closer and longer you’ve known them, really helped set this up. You’re mentally bad if they think you’re “successful,” no matter what you’ve done.

So how exactly do you define success? I ask this because my friends and I talk about it a lot. We wish strangers had done the same. I’m sure, through social conditioning, you’ve seen it all your life. Doesn’t matter what your age. The truth is that success, like pleasure or sex, is inevitable. Everyone gets something, whether they pretend or not, that’s another matter.

then what is it? Pennies? This, like good health, seems to be paramount, only when you desperately need it. Most, after a certain income bracket, are not. There is no end to the greed, of course.

Next, is it power? For which, the general belief is that you must get your head, heart and hands dirty in order to achieve it. And that it can be easily snatched away by planned trickery rather than just the luck + talent of the competitors.

The latter two, apart from farming, are only more faithfully embodied in the game, where you run as fast as you can on your track to win; Rather than seek to travel parallel to yourself. Is success then a measure of public recognition for individual talents? Where someone will always have more personal fame than you. And always be more talented.

is that it is hopeless, while you cling firmly to perfection; Time/energy spent on the inherent gift? Do you stop playing cricket because Sachin is already there? Can you quit playing cricket with professional ambitions, and start looking for other things, knowing that it takes a Sachin to make it, and that a national team only has 11 players? In most other areas, there is essentially more space for everyone.

Would love to know about you, I think success equals : confidence. Which, in turn, is best predicted by feeling sufficiently secure about yourself, paying less and less attention to how others feel about you, or how others feel about you. Is. Perennials alone are hoping to impress.

Others are too busy thinking/thinking about themselves all the time. We forget it, first of all. Can the success of what I have written above be judged by how many will read/like/share it? No. That I really wanted to write it, and did?


Mayank Shekhar has tried to make sense of the people’s culture. He tweeted @mayankw14
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The views expressed in this column are those of the individual and do not represent the views of the paper.



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